


Realized

by kitarin



Category: Kamen Rider W (Double)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 18:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4359848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitarin/pseuds/kitarin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Shoutarou - how do you know if something is real?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Realized

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amdnj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amdnj/gifts).



“Shoutarou? ...Shoutarou? _Shoutarou_.”

He doesn't sleep nearly as lightly as he used to, and he's also not certain if the voice is internal or external at first, but the insistence in Philip's tone slowly drags Shoutarou back to consciousness.

Blinking in the dim lighting, he squints at the clock over his partner's shoulder – half past four – before finally shaping a single word in his mouth. “...aibou?”

Philip's eyes are wide and a touch panicked, his hair wild as if he's been pulling at it for too long, and he takes the question as permission to continue. “Shoutarou – how do you know if something is  _real_ ?”

Shoutarou's been burning the candle at both ends with the latest case Akiko has them working on and he's a little delirious from lack of sleep, but he can Philip's feelings rolling off of him in such a discernible wave that he shoves it all aside in an instant. “Is this about  _you_ , Philip?” It's been months since his partner returned from the beyond and yet... “Of course you're-”

“Just answer the question, _please_ ,” Philip implores, reaching out with one hand as if to shake Shoutarou by the shoulder, then snatching it back a moment later.

Rolling up onto one elbow, Shoutarou studies his partner with worry in his eyes, never entirely sure how to respond in moments like these. Intuition wins. “Hey...” he says softly, reaching out a slow hand, and when Philip doesn't recoil, carding it slowly through his hair. “You're looking at me right now, aren't you?”

“Yes, but optical processors-”

The hand in Philip's hair slides around the back of his neck, tugging lightly, and Shoutarou is grateful when his partner comes easily. He pulls Philip's head to his chest as he sinks down into the bed again, cutting off the rebuttal off in an instant. “You can hear that, can't you?”

Philip is silent for a breath, two, and then he answers, still too clipped and edgy for Shoutarou's comfort. “Your heartbeat?”

“Mm, that's right...” Shoutarou mumbles, purposefully taking the time to breathe in and out again, slowly, fingers drifting until the pulse under Philip's ear is thrumming against his fingertips. “I can feel yours too.”

“I don't understand,” Philip protests, wishing that Shoutarou could be less obtuse in his explanations. “You're referring to... senses?”

“Your voice, your warmth...” Shoutarou continues, again not exactly answering anything.

Philip could refute these too, but he likes the feeling of Shoutarou's fingers drifting across his cheek and the arm that's slowly snug its way around his shoulders, and so he attempts to hear his partner out.

“...the way we fit together...and the way we can both smell the remains of the pizza we should have put into the fridge before bed...”  


Philip's lips curve into a smile just as Shoutarou's fingertips pass over them, and though his words are less sharp, there's still the hint of disbelief in his voice. “I inquire beyond the physical realm, though, Shoutarou. All of these things are merely processes, many automatic...”

“In return, I could ask you to define ' _real',_ aibou...” Shoutarou sighs a little, letting the slightest hint of genuine frustration leak. “If not a tangible presence... are you questioning the fabric of reality itself? Not sure I'm qualified...”

“No, I...” Philip's hand finally curls into the fabric of Shoutarou's shirt, his breathing quick and uneven. “Sometimes I... I don't know... I don't know...” The last few words are hardly more than a whisper, but Shoutarou hears them anyway. “...who I am.”

Shoutarou's lips graze Philip's temple before he answers, the words low and soft in his partner's ear. “You're... Philip – my partner – one half of a single detective, one half of W –  _mine_ \- ...” Shoutarou's voice cracks on the last word, and his teeth sink into his lower lip before he continues, “...and I love you.”

“I...” Philip isn't the type to automatically repeat a sentiment and instead asks, “These... are your feelings? How does that... What does that have to do with...”

“Do you?”

“Do I?”

“...love me too?”

It's just the two of them alone in the dark, with the room feeling small and the universe feeling large, and Shoutarou's heart on his sleeve, and then Philip shuffles until they are nose to nose.

“...I do.” And there's no hesitation when he searches out Shoutarou's hand, intertwining their fingers.

“That feeling is _yours_ , and yours alone,” Shoutarou can't keep the smile off his face, but slowly, Philip's face becomes a mirror, heartbeats and breaths syncing. “And I think, if anything, we're realized by the feelings we have, the desires we have, the decisions we make...”

“...and the ones we don't make -”

“....and the impact they have on, well... everything?”

“...on reality as we each perceive it...” Philip finishes the mutual train of thought, and maybe it's not enough to dissuade him from further worry, but... it's enough to keep him here in the present, in the now... in the feeling of Shoutarou's lips against his own.

 


End file.
